托福备考资料:T友写作范文汇总(九十九)(2)

考研 Freekaoyan.com/2008-03-12


修改意见:
180 Movies are popular all over the world. Explain why movies are so popular. Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

This is a controversial issue about why movies are so popular depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concern. The reason, nevertheless, is not easy to give. However, from my point of view, I will think that movies have many advantages to the people and therefore are so popular. My arguments are listed as follows.

正如guoliwei所说,首段的模板使用不当。

The essential reason can be seen by everyone is that watching movie makemakespeople learn a lot of knowledge aboutprovides people with the access to knowledge ofmany different things. For example, people can learn the culture of a country from watching movie. They are able to understand how people live, work and study in other countrycountries. It is difficult to learn this knowledge from reading book.(说读书difficult不怎么好,可以改成,It may be more vivid and interesting to learn knowledge by watching movies than by reading books. The knowledge people can learn from watching movie include (including) the history and economy of a country. (all aspects of a country, such as history and economy.) In short, even though there are many different views concerning this topic(开放性的题目,出现这样的句子是失误), in my part. I also would like to think that people could learn a lot from movie is the most important reason that causes movies to be popular.that knowledge learned by watching movies is precious and thus movies are becoming more and more popular.

Another reason of my propensity for movies are so popular(改成the issueis that watching moviemovies can create communication among family. For instance, there are many topics on televisionmovies. Since parent parentsdiscuss with children on those topics, watching moviemovies create communication among family. So, as far as I am concerned that watching moviemoviescan create communication among family is another important reason that causes movies to be popular.

这一段其实一句话就能说完了,要展开,不要每句都明目张胆的粘在can create communication among family

Last but not the least, movie watching moviesis an inexpensive entertainment. It can be afforded by most of people. (尽量少用被动) In my country, many families go to movie together on the weekend. They only spend little money and they have a good time. Therefore, that movie is an inexpensive entertainment also is one of reasons.

这一段可以加个in addition放到上一段,两个理由段就可以了。这一段通常来个让步比较好。

In conclusion, movies are popular all over the world because they make people to learn a lot of knowledge. They create communication among family. They can be afforded by most of people.(句型可以复杂一点,watching movies, an entertainment that most people can afford, is a way of learning knowledge and create communication among family members. In fact, movie has been a part of our life.

感觉口语化,需要多加练习。写作之前花点时间来审题和组织论点论据。



 


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