Score 4 Essay—Sample 2
     Independence from the family at early stages of life is a common phenomena exists in our   society, moving out from the family house to live on your own in early ages of your adult life has an advantages and disadvantages. However, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Independency is generally good and helpful for the individual, because it teaches individuals how to take care of different responsibilities, and how to handle things by yourself, people needs to know how to live independently of others, because eventually they will have to. So, the desire to get your independence from your family when you are young adult is good because it shows the some kind of individual maturity for being aware of the ultimate situation, when you have to move out and live on your own.
     On the other hand, adults should consider moving out when they are sure that they are ready for it. Being ready includes being financially, physically, and psychologically ready. One major advantage for staying with your parents is financially advantage. Because one gets to save money between the residency and daily living issues.
     Nowadays, life has become harder for the new generations to live and keep up with. And  in order to do that, individualls needs to be fully equiped in terms of education, support, and maturity. And by staying with the family, one would not have to worry about a lot of issues, instead, one will concerntrate more on getting equiped for the next step in his life, which is   moving out and getting independent of others.
     In conclusion, although moving out when you are still a young adult to live independently from the family has some good point, the disadvantages of it overcome these good points. 
 
Rater's Comments
     This essay is clearly organized and unified, though it does remain on a fairly abstract level. It is  also generally well developed. Sentence structure is varied, but there are noticeable errors in  syntax and expression (“is financially advantage;” “has an advantages” “Because one gets to  save money between the residency and daily living issues.” “getting independent of others”). These errors earn this essay a score of 4.
 
Score 3 Essay——Sample 1
     Right now adults have different points of view about live. Independent from their parents as   soon as possible or continue to live with their parents. Live with your parents have many   differents advantage. First, some people don’t want to have responsabilities, they want their   parents still take the desicion. For example, house's responsabilities or pays. Secound, When peoples live with their parents they don’t expend a lot money for house or food. Third, they belief that their family is a great company.  But in the other hand, when people live along have important advantage. For example, They live independient, they don’t have limitation in their own house. They don’t need to negotiate with other persons or family.
     Morover, they have a great oportunity to learn about how administarte a house, and what    is the real value of the money. They can understand everything about responsability in their house. Finally they have more freedom.
Both live independient and live with your parents have many different disadvantage. On    the first points of view, live independient, the most important problem is money and expensive. For example, right now young adults need to find a good job for live in a good place because rents are expensive. It is the same with food and services. They need to have aexcellent imcome to live in good conditions. Also, they need to work in the house along because don’t have company. They need to clean, do the laundry, buy the food, and cook along. Although people think live independient have a huge sacrifices, also live with their parents it is difficult and have a lot of disadvantage. For example, when people live with their parents have many different limitation with activities in the house, every time need to negociate with your family in addition.
 
Rater's Comments
     This essay is somewhat developed and is longer than the average essay with a score of 3.  It has a coherent organization based on describing the pros and cons of living apart from one's parents and living with them, with supporting points. In some cases, however, this approach leads to redundancy, especially toward the end of the essay. Additionally, even discounting typographical mistakes, the various errors clearly reveal weakness in command of language  (“Live with your parents have many differents advantage,” “the most important problem is...    expensive”). Meaning is also sometimes obscured (“house's resonsabilities or pays,” “They need    to work in the house along because don’t have company”).
 
Score 3 Essay——Sample 2
     Young adults show different patterns of behavior when they have to decide whether continuing to live with their family or not. For instance, in United States young adults prefer to live separated from they parents as soon as possible. This tendency reflects wises of freedom and independence. Altough these behavior has remarkable advantages and disadvantage, the advantage can overwhelm the negative effects.
     It is important to recognize that by living separated from parents or family can be more  risked than living with them. Many young adults are victims of group pressure and gangs because of theirs parents absence.
     However, a significant advantage of living by oneself is that people develop leadership skills. Individuals that live by themselves learn to do and sustain their own decisions. On the contrary, people who live with their parents are more shy and less confident. For instance, many of the greatest world leaders are or have been people that were separated from their parents when they were kids.
     Another advantage of living indepently is that people can fully develop their creative potential. When people is forced to difficult situations, they can surprise us with outstanding abilities and values that otherwise remained hidden. A good example are blind people, these person show a remarkable ability for art and music. In a similar way, when parents are absent or too away for help, individuals manage to survive and be successful.
 
Rater's Comments
     Though slightly stronger than the average essay with a score of 3, this essay fails to earn ascore of 4 mainly because of errors that obscure meaning (“reflects wises of freedom and independence”). Also, connections among ideas are not always completely clear, For example, the   details used to support the points made in paragraphs 3 and 4 are concrete but not well connected to each other or to the generalizations made by the writer.