第二段：The dawn of the new century witnessed the increasing popularity of computers. Coincident with the advancement of science and technology, computers pouring into the current society as a fashion are appealing to growing individuals. It is no exaggeration to say that we have been submerged by them, in large measure!
        
        　The dawn of the new century witnessed是一个精彩句型，用来描述在某个时期发生了什么事情；
        
        　Increasing popularity替换more and more popular
        　　
         Coincident with…非常地道的词汇，表达"与…一致"的意思，替换With…
        
        　Advancement替换development
        
        　Pour into ( flood into / swarm into )替换enter into
        
        　Current ( currently )替换now
        
        　Appeal to sb.替换sb. be interested in sth.
        
        　Growing individuals替换more and more people
        
         It is no exaggeration to say经典句型，说某事是毫不夸张的
        
         第三段：To begin with, we can, freely, search desired information at any moment. Little by little, our knowledge will be well enriched, and our horizons will be greatly broadened. Additionally, we can get huge recreations online by chatting, playing games, or delivering email.
        　　
         We can, freely, search用了插入语的写作手法
        
        　our knowledge will be well enriched, and our horizons will be greatly broadened.用了非常精彩的被动
        
        　Additionally替换In addition / Besides
        
         Deliver替换send
        
         第四段：There is no denying that, however, computers can function in the disservice of human beings, in a way, especially the growing violence, porn pictures, AV-films emerging on the screen, which leads quiet a few net citizens to copying.