The main purpose of business letters is to communicate the mutual requirements and find a more effective
way to understand the differences both in culture and language. Here are some analysis examples we should pay
attention to in sentence structures:
Work in pairs, compare thesentences:
Compare (1)
Original:
With reference to your request for an extension on your note under date of we are willing to allow you an
additional ninety days tomake payment on your note.
Edited:
We are pleased to allow you an additional ninety days to pay your note dated March20.
Unedited Edited
1) Your checkin the amount of $360 → Your check for $360
2) Keep in mind the fact that → Remember that
3) Held a meeting to discuss → Met to discuss
4) During the course of our research, we learned that → Our research revealed that
5) Engaged in making a salary study → Making a salary study
Note: The italicized words are redundancies, nonsense, adding no warmth or friendliness but to clutter
message.
Compare (2)
Abstruse Expression:
The contract enclosed herewith requires your signature before it can be executed and should be directed to the
undersigned.
Natural Style:
Please sign the contract enclosed signature before it and return it to me.
Somewhat Showy
Conventional
comprehend                  see, understand
be cognizant of                know that
disbursements                 payments
corroborate                   confirm, make sure
initial first
ultimate                      final
Note:
Write in a conventional way. Use simple, familiar words not the big, fancy or showy words to keep language
lively and simple.
Compare (3)
Non-personalized
Sir:
Pleased return the Merlin compact copier that you claim arrived in a damaged condition. All shipping
charges will be paid by us.
The damaged copier is being replaced by another one.
Very truly yours,
Personalized →
Gentlemen:
This afternoon I sent you a replacement of the Marlin copier by UPS, and you should have it by the
time you receive this letter. I’m sorry the first shipment was damaged.
One of our representatives will drop by in a day or two to pick up the first copier you receive. Thanks
for your patience.
Yours very sincerely,
Note:
In routine business writing, treat your recipient as a live human being, not as “to whom it may concern” (cold
in tone). Form thefrom-me-to-you personal touch.Write in a civilized, thoughtful and friendly attitude.
Compare (4)
“You” approach: 1. Your presentation at the workshop was very enjoyable, provocative, and valuable.
Natural: →. I certainly enjoyed your presentation at the workshop. I found it very provocative and
valuable.
2. You are to be congratulated on your promotion to product manager.
→ I’m delighted to learn about your promotion to product manager. Congratulations!
Note: In business letters, the“you approach” is commonly employed, showing a condescending attitude.
The pronounI is more personal and should be used naturally.
Compare (5)
Negative：
1. Your complaint about the quality of paper used in the forms we supplied you is regrettable.
Better: →
.I’m sorry that the quality of paper in the forms we supplied you was not up to your expectations
2. I dispute your assertion that the merchandise we sent is inferior.
Please look at the specifications on page 321 of our catalogue. I think you’ll agree that the shirts you received
match them.
Note:
Emphasizing the positive in your letter helps to build a favorable image for you and your company. The
positive expression conveys warmth, friendliness, enthusiasm andtact.
5. The 7C Principles of business writing: