新新写作30天第九天 好段落的标准

网络资源/2005-02-28

The greater the man, the more restrained his anger.

  人越伟大,越能克制怒火。【芝麻开门】

  学完段落的展开方法以后,我们就保证能写出好的段落吗?什么样的段落可以被称之为好段落呢?一般说来,一个好的段落应该具有这样的特点:意思完整,主题一致,前后连贯,过渡自然。换句话说,一个好的段落必须能够充分地表达思想,内容上没有任何残缺;一个段落只有一个主题,所有的扩展句都为主题句服务,主题句与扩展句在意义上始终保持统一;段落结构安排合理、条理清楚,句与句之间的转换自然、顺理成章。这就是段落的统一性和连贯性。

  一、统一性

  段落中每一句均须与此段的主题相关,并提供数据来支持主题,句子间必须先后有序,合乎逻辑,否则便会欠缺统一性。当你写下一段落时,必须检查每句的内容是否依据主旨,如果不是的话,便要修改或移到另一段。

  例如:

  Learning a foreign language has changed. Not long ago, students would sit with pen in hand, writing the basic forms of a language, learning structures they would never be able to speak. In that same classroom today, pens and notebooks have been put away. The spoken sounds of foreign tongue fill the room. Today the last skill learned writing a foreign language comes as a natural and possible part of the total languagelearning process. Yet, just a few years ago, the last skill learned was the first skill mastered today—speaking a foreign tongue. To visit some foreign countries, travelers have to apply for visas.

  由以上段落可见,每句均围绕主旨而发展,主题句是“Learning a foreign language has changed.”,但其中有一句“To visit some foreign countries, travelers have to apply for visas.”则是说申请护照的,明显地不合此段主题 learning a foreign language,所以必须移走,才能使本段意思归一。

  活动教室

        请找出下面这段话中与主题不统一的句子。

  No one knows exactly when people started drying tea leaves, putting boiling water on top and then drinking it. Experts believe tea drinking may have started in China, Tibet and India. A Chinese legend says that it began in 2500BC when a few leaves accidentally fell into the Emperors boiling water. Tea is very delicious and very popular today. Chinese records from 780AD talk about growing, drying, and drinking tea. Soon after that tea was brought to Japan by Chinese Buddhist monks. During the 1600s it was brought to England.

        二、连贯性

  段落除了必须具有统一性及文字流畅外,句与句,字与字之间还要有连贯性,要达到此点,便需要做出适当排序;如果一个段落内句子不统一,则即使有连贯性也没用,反之,若没有联系的句子乱成一团,就算全部与主旨有关,也难以让读者看懂。所以,段落的统一性和连贯性二者缺一不可。要保证段落的连贯性,常用的方法有以下几种:

  1.使用过渡性词语

  过渡性词语是一种关系指引词,不仅能承上启下,还能转折上下文的语气,充分显示句与句之间的逻辑关系,能贯通思想的脉络,使段落思想表达得清晰、流畅。过渡性词语的种类很多,须根据上下文的内容选择使用。

  常用过渡性词语详见附录。

  注:在使用某些过渡词时,必须了解标点符号的用法。

  1)若转折词在一句子中用作引申或转折意思,要用分号和逗号。比如:

  You cannot go to the beach because it is raining heavily; moreover, you havent finished your homework.

  2)如果要用转折词表示两句子间的意思衔接或转移,则运用标点符号时便如下列所示:

  . Constantly,.

  . However,.

  . Furthermore,.

  例如:

  I studied English for four years in college. Nevertheless, I had trouble talking with people when I was traveling in the United States.

  3)在使用从属连词时可用在句子中间,或放在句首,要留意标点符号的运用各有不同。

  例如:

  The city becomes calm and well ordered after the parade.

  After the parade, the city becomes calm and well ordered.

  Speech is the image of actions.

  语言是行动的反映。

        常用标点符号解析:

  逗号(Comma ,)逗号是最常用也是最常用错的标点符号,其中一个最常见的用法是分开从句(clauses)及短语(phrases)。

  1)将逗号放于连接词之前(for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so),连接两个独立的从句(independent clauses)。可通过:“fan boys”这两个词来记忆连接词

  2)以逗号来分开句子内的词、短语或从句

  3)以逗号来分隔并列的形容词

  4)以逗号来分隔非限制性定语从句

  注意:不要在限制性定语从句中加上逗号。

  错误句子: Stores, which honor credit cards, have noticed an increase in sales.

  正确句子: Stores which honor credit cards have noticed an increase in sales.

  句中 which honor credit cards 是不能缺少的部分,如果删去,即指“所有商店都注意到营业额有上升”,而不是原意所指“可以使用信用卡的商店”,所以我们不能用逗号分隔。

  5)用逗号来分隔同位语

  When I graduate in June, I will begin work at ABC Company, a local trading firm.

  6)用逗号来分隔句子中的插入成分

  7)用逗号来分隔引述句

  8)在日期、名称、地址及数字上使用逗号的要点

  注意:如果日期中只包含月日、年月、或年份季节,则不须加逗号。

  年份是不用逗号的,如 1997(但是我们会用 25,000 B.C.)。度量上,我们用逗号来分隔文字,如:five feet, three inches. 页数上则用 page 10, line 5

  Better the devil you know than the devil you dont know.

  明枪易躲,暗箭难防。句号 (Period .)

  在常用标点符号中,句号仅次于逗号,而且也是较易使用的符号。只需要大家一定记住:英语的句号不同于汉语的句号,是一个实心点。很多同学一不小心就会写成一个小圆圈,而且这样的同学还随处可见、为数不少。句号一般有三种用法:

  (1)结束句子: Turn it on, please.

  (2)结束略语: Mrs. e.g. ect. N.Y.

  (3)分开小数: 0.98 $2.38

  分号 (Semicolon ;)

  分号最常用于两个从句之间,其分隔度比逗号大,但比句号小,通常用作表示句子中两个从句意思相连。

  (1)以分号代替句号来分隔两个相关的独立从句

  Spring is here; the birds are chirping with joy.

  (2)当其中一个独立从句中包含逗号时,以分号来分隔两个从句

  If you give children too much freedom, they will never learn to control themselves; on the other hand, if you give them too little, they will never become selfreliant.

  (3)当要使用连接副词或其他连接语来联结从句时,以分号作分隔。

  2.正确处理“替代和所指”

  除了过渡性词语外,省略、替代和所指(reference)等手段同样可以起到连句成段,保持段落连贯性的作用。

  代词是很重要的关系指引词。它们不仅能指明句子内部某些词之间的关系,而且能沟通和建立句子和句子之间意义上的联系,从而使段落中前后句子的意义逻辑地、有条理地联系起来。利用代词指代前面提到的名词,可以起到承上启下的作用。如:

  (1) Tom finished his drink at a gulp, wondered about another, decided not. (2) His career might be slithering downhill, his book might be choking itself to death, but he still had Thea. (3) And this, he knew as he looked at his glass, was no way to keep her. (4) He knew it, and yet he kept slipping away from his resolution. (5) How else did you blot out the feeling of failure?

  (6) But the subconscious was a real devil, eating away at him. (7) No matter how determinedly he dropped the hours and disappointments out of his conscious mind, they only sank below the surface, and lay there.

  上文中,(1)是主题句,为全段提供心理背景;(2)以两个平行结构承接上文,并以过渡词but 表示意义转折;(3)用过渡词and表示意义引申,并用指示词 this承接上文(所指);(4)中的and yet表示意义转折;(5)用else承接上句(所指);(6)是第二段的主题句,以but为承上启下的过渡词;(7)通过近义词重复(conscious/subconscious)承接上文。在这短短的百十个词的两段话里,单单第三人称代词就出现了16次之多:其中he (指Tom)出现六次, his六次, him一次,her(指Thea)一次, it(指上句)一次, they(指上文the hurts and disappointments)一次。可见代词在组成连贯、统一、合乎逻辑的段落方面起着多么大的作用。

  需要注意的是,在使用代词达到段落连贯时,代词和它所代的名词(所指)一定要在性、数、人称上保持一致。看下面的例子:

  It rained day and night for two weeks. The basement flooded and everything was under water. It spoiled all our calculations. 在这三句话中,第三句中的“it”一词到底指代什么并不清楚,因而会造成岐义。修改后的下面这句话所表达的意思就很清楚了。The event of raining and flooding led to the physical destruction of certain documents in which our calculations were recorded.  3.重复使用关键词或短语

  关键词或短语的重复出现,必然使人把眼前的句子与前面的句子联系起来,如同用一根线将整个段落贯穿成一个整体,从而达到连贯性。

  请看下面的例子:

  Each man is the architect of his own fate.

  每个人都是自己命运的建筑师。The saying “One picture is worth 1,000 words” suggests the importance to a writer of thinking by examples. By putting the right examples in a paragraph or composition, a writer can tell his or her idea to a reader. But the art of using the right examples is not easy to learn. Choosing examples calls for imagination. Using examples well calls for both reasoning and control. Examples must make abstract ideas more concrete. At the same time, examples must not lead a reader away from a writers central purpose. Clear thinking is needed for good writing. Clear thinking alone helps a writer choose examples that will explain the idea of an essay. You must have a plan instead of a grocery list. You must write with your mind as well as your pen because a composition is an act of thought.

  本段的中心思想是the importance of thinking by examples,example一词先后出现了七次,而每次出现都标志着意义的引申,不仅没有累赘之感,而且全段文笔流畅,在语义上具有明显的统一性和连贯性。

  The truth is great virtue, and lying, its extreme opposite, is the devil. Truth emanates from a healthy, happy, and settled state of mind, while lie is born of corruption, nurtured in depravity, and bred in cowardice. Lying, unfortunately, is a prevalent vice that is not strictly confined to any particular class of the society, but has its ramifications so extended that it embraces in its toils victims among the whole human race.

  在这个段落里,主题句里有两个关键词truth和lying。在段落的扩展句里,这两个关键词重复出现(还用了lying的名词形式lie),使句子之间相互衔接,达到段落连贯的目的。

  4.利用平行结构

  平行结构的使用是一种修辞手法,通过重复使用相同的语法结构,其中既有词汇的重复,又有纯粹的语法结构的重复。它不但能使段落节奏匀称,还可以引起读者的注意,使读者顺利地理解全段内容,起到强调的作用。

  请看下面各例:

  Parents spend much money and time on their children. They do their best to make the children enjoy a higher standard of living than they themselves do. They want their children to learn many skills, such as painting, English, playing the violin or the piano, and so on. Children are forced to do what they are not really interested in. They have no adequate time to play. They cant get along well with other children. They dont know how to express themselves. As a result, some children are not psychologically healthy, and fail to fulfill their parents desires.

  本段可以分为两个层次,第一个层次说明Parents spend much money and time on their children.用两个相同句式They do their best to make their children ...和They want their children to...来对此作进一步说明和论证。第二个层次说明Children are forced to do what they are not really interested in. 作者用了三个相同的句式They have no..., They cant..., They dont...对此作进一步的说明和论证。

  It is bad manners to interrupt anyone who is reciting or speaking. It is bad manners to wave the hand in the air to attract the teachers attention. It is bad manners to show an excessive eagerness to recite and show off your knowledge or cleverness. It is also bad manners to keep silent when the teacher asks you a question. If you do not know the answer, say so immediately; if you do, give it in a distinct voice so that all the class may hear.

  本段的主题句在段落末尾处。前面用了三个相同的句式It is bad manners to...,平行的句子结构在这里起到了引起读者注意的作用,使段落很富感染力。

  Birds of a feather flock together.

  物以类聚,人以群分。

       活动教室

       请润色下面这段文章,用今天所学的技巧改善其连贯性。

  In recent years, the air conditioner has become one of the many indispensable electrical appliances for thousands upon thousands of families, especially those in the south. There the intense heat overwhelms the earth throughout the summer. The advantages of the airconditioner are selfevident. Armed with the ability to refrigerate, the airconditioner makes you feel refreshing and comfortable no matter how hot it is outside. It guarantees the efficiency of your work and the quality of your rest. Without the airconditioner there would be no knowing what would happen to you in the dog days. The airconditioner can also create a proper condition in summer for the operation of computers—the best friends of yours in the information age. Too high a temperature would make computers work improperly, causing much inconvenience for your daily life and work.【超级链接】

  Talents come from diligence, and knowledge is gained by accumulation.

  天才在于勤奋,知识在于积累。更多相关内容请参照第十三天 Day Thirteen&第十四天Day Fourteen&第十五天 Day Fifteen。

  美文赏析

  Crisis

  To many people, crisis is perhaps the last thing they want to see. However, the situation of a crisis is much like a wall, when pushed down, becoming a bridge. Truly, every time you confront with a crisis, something good comes out of it.

  A ready example is the Sept. 11 incident in U.S.A.. All because of the outrageous bloody thirst of terrorists for assassination, explosion, among other evil deeds to cause general panic, the World Trade Tower was blasted down through intended plane crash. The disaster brought down the business center and helped send the U.A. economy into a new round of recession and the American people terrorism. As a result, many terrorist organizations were held in determent. For a long time, people will live away from the danger of terrorist attacks. Another example is the SARS disease. When the disease spread, it caused great panic. But after that, people realized the importance of health and built good habits to improve their health.

  Perhaps no one could be sober in the face of crisis. But if one tries to calm down and sees the bright side of the situation, she/he can get through the trouble. At least one thing is for sure: when one is down, she/he is not necessarily out.

  本文以漫画为引子,导出对“crisis”的见解如:“the situation of a crisis is much like a wall, when pushed down, becoming a bridge.”第二段通过举例法证明危机可能带来的新机遇,既举出震惊世界的“9·11事件”,又引用前不久发生于身边的“非典”疾病,很有说服力。同时文章也从剖析人们的恐慌心理入手,在语言表达以及结论方式上,必然要为恐惧打开一扇光明的窗户。本文的最后一句,借用了拳击术语“down but not out”,意为“挨了一拳,扑到在地,但不至于出局,还有机会自己爬起”,这就提出了人们在危机面前应具备的心理状态,鼓舞了士气,使人们看到了前方的曙光,从而重新获得了必胜的信念和勇气。An open enemy is better than a hollow friend.

  宁有公开的敌人,不要虚伪的朋友。


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